Being Non-Binary
In honor of International Non-Binary People’s Day we got to sit down with one of our lovely mentors, Tré! Tré sees being non-binary as a metamorphosis process, “I just feel like a butterfly, i’ve been a caterpillar for so long and when i figured out who I was and who I identify as I felt like a butterfly, a very gender neutral butterfly! It is a process and I’m still trying to figure it out for myself every single day, believe it or not!” And with multiple other intersecting identities they describe it as “there’s a place for you, but there’s not a place for you. You try to find where you fit in and you try to find that placeholder or something that you could call home. I remember finding the term nonbinary and I really felt that instant connection with it and how others express themselves. You don't have to put on a wig, or be fem or be masc every single day, sometimes it's a combination. It’s how you create your own style. My identity journey came from me identifying my sexuality. When you learn that sexuality and identity are not mutually exclusive then you're on a whole new journey.”
“Finding this identity shows you these systematic problems within our own community. It puts a spotlight out on preferences, the way people perceive you. It puts you into this sub community where everyone is open to do anything and everything to uplift people. Trying to find your happiness and that core value of this is who I am.” But even within this identity they still face a lot of backlash from within the community of trying to box them into these perceived categories.
With being misgendered, “When I started I was so adamant on using my correct pronouns. But, now sometimes I don’t want to give you the queer history 101, when I know this is going to be a closed conversation. You pick and choose who you want to hang out with and who you give your time to. Even with my current name as Tre, I’m trying to find my forever home and figure out who I am”
With being out to their family “It was always known but never said, from an early age I told myself I wanted to be happy by any means necessary. And I didn’t have the traditional coming out story. I lived my life because I know how my parents were raised and I wasn't gonna let that hinder me from being happy. The older I got the more I realized I am who I am. I bring home who I want to bring home. I dress how I want to dress. Everyone who meets me I am very open, but with my family I still face a lot of questions.”
Something they are most proud of with this identity is, “the adventures that have opened up, the new opportunities! I honestly don’t think I would be here if I didn't find these identities. This identity gave me the growth I needed to not only be myself but also help out my community. I love this identity and I love being nonbinary because there’s no checkmark. I just want to keep not worrying about that and be happy! This identity is going to help me grow into my next life!”
Tré identifies as Non-Binary and queer and uses they/them pronouns
Tré Tucker is one of our amazing mentors for our One Bold Summer Program and has does incredible work within their community!
Interviewed & Edited by Halli Rae Gigante